Day of Gratitude

For a few months now we've been planning this Day of Gratitude, and now that we're a few days away I feel mixed emotions about our timing.

(Before I delve into my feelings I should say that I'm pretty sure that everyone who still reads my blog received our email invite to this group fast that we organized; HOWEVER, if you didn't get an email, and you're seeing this before Sunday, June 7 let me know. I can still send an email invite.)

The last few months and especially the last couple weeks have been a rollercoaster! We have family who have experienced the debilitating effects of COVID-19. We have had countless conversations about misinformation and confusion. We have watched our local news as downtown Seattle was in the midst of race riots and felt the anger and fear of those interviewed. At the same time, we have been daily reminded of blessings. We wanted to gather friends and family together this Sunday to focus on something good and be prayerful. We're particularly grateful to be experiencing miracles in our lives and felt like during these restricted times the best way to celebrate with family and friends was to be emotionally and spiritually united for a day.

Yet, it felt so insensitive to send the invitation on Sunday when so many people are in a bad place physically and emotionally, feeling overwhelmed with grief. The opposition in my mind was telling me that this invitation would sound like, "Oh, I know you're angry and confused, but try to be optimistic" or "Even though you're hurting, be happy for me." Sincerely, I hope our group fast doesn't come across as lacking empathy. We have and will continue to mourn with those that mourn. Our prayers on Sunday will be in gratitude for our tender mercies, on top of our requests for individual and worldwide action and understanding during this time.

Consider yourself invited to join us in a day of fasting and prayer this coming Sunday. Participate however you feel most comfortable - whether that's diving head first into the full experience or just taking a moment to be mindful on that day. We'd love to know if you participate, as it has been reassuring to know that so many friends and family are being prayerful with us on the same day.

Social Distancing and Mobile Preferences

COVID-19 is wreaking havoc across the world and particularly starting strong in our neck of the woods. Across Puget Sound from us were the first coronavirus deaths in the United States. In February while King County was taking more drastic measures to avoid the spread of the virus, our area on the other side of the sound hadn't felt the chaos quite as much as we observed it. When people ask me now if I've experienced the novel coronavirus differently from the rest of the country because we're in a US hotspot, I tell them that it's quite the opposite. The changes I've experienced have happened at the same time as the rest of the country, as far as I can tell, and we were observing Seattle from a distance like everyone else... except that our distance was a bit closer, geographically speaking. Schools closed in King County earlier than in our area. The announcement of closure from our school districts came this last Friday, and our schools are currently scheduled to be closed until April 24 at the earliest... meaning our schools could be cancelled even longer than that. The day of that announcement was my first crazy grocery store trip, where everyone and their mom seemed to be shopping at the same time and shelves were suddenly less stocked than normal (toilet paper and hand sanitizer had been missing for a couple weeks).

Lucky for me, I've been practicing social distancing like a pro for awhile now. Pretty much since we moved here, my days have been spent primarily at home, with very few errands that would ever take me into town. For almost three months I've been practicing my favorite daily home yoga routine on YouTube, so gym closures are no biggie for me. If you need a good book, TV show, or movie recommendation I have a long list that I can even tailor to your preferences! I'd like to think that these viewing efforts were inspired for the benefit of others, for this very moment. *winky-face

One thing I've noticed about myself as social distancing becomes necessary and mobile connectedness because more essential, is that I have a couple mobile communication pet-peeves that have previous been like unspoken rules. Such a time as this calls for me to be more open about my discovered preferences.

1. Sending an an open-ended text gives me anxiety.
This was something I didn't quite realize I had a rule on until it happened one too many times. In my definition, an open-ended text is a text message that doesn't give you a sense of why someone is reaching out. Like a one word, "Hi" or "How are you?" with nothing else in the message. Or "Are you available?" Available for what, I might ask?

After much thought, I've discovered why these kinds of texts give me anxiety. This method of drawing someone into a conversation is EXACTLY how social media scammers start their messages. Once you respond, the scammers know you're online and vulnerable, and will then respond immediately with their wolf in sheep's clothing appeals on your kindness.

If I were teaching mobile communication etiquette, I would advise people to include their name if it's the first time you've ever written, and give a brief overview for your intentions. Maybe, for example, "Are you available to chat on the phone for 15 minutes to dish about that movie you recommended to me?" You don't have to say everything in one message, but give enough information that the reader knows what kind of response and time commitment to make.

Personally, sending me a message that just says, "Hi" gives me the heebie-jeebies, and I then feel rude (am I the rude one?) and don't know exactly what I'm getting myself into when I respond with, "How can I help you, Jane?"

2. If you call me and don't leave a message, I won't call you back.
Actually, I've had this rule for awhile and in some instances when it happens repeatedly and the person is confused at my lack of response, I verbalize this rule. So it's not exactly unspoken. Growing up I had a home phone line, and eventually our family owned a message machine for missed calls. Maybe if you didn't grow up in the era of land-lines, you don't realize that if you called someone they ONE) didn't know who was calling and TWO) had no way to know that you called unless you left a message asking them to call you back.

If no message is left on my phone, I'm going to assume that your purpose in calling me wasn't important enough for you to want me to call you back. Perhaps you figured the answer out and didn't need my help after all. Perhaps you pocket dialed me on accident. Either way, not my business if you didn't leave me a detailed description of why I had a missed call from you.

Now that you know, if either of these now expressly-written, personal rules are broken, I can assure you that my lack of response is not an attempt to improve social distancing and the spread of the coronavirus.

1 Nephi 15:7-9,11

This year members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are reading the Book of Mormon together. As in, each week members are given the same set of chapters to read from the Book of Mormon, starting at the beginning and going through the end. If you'd like to follow along, you can look up today's date using this link and see what chapters we're reading during the week.  Typically, Scott and I like to read chapters together on Sunday, and then finish reading or discussing our thoughts during the rest of the week.

I didn't realized how passionate I was about this particular set of scriptures until I started sharing my thoughts about them to my family. In 1 Nephi 15:7-9, Nephi (the author of these chapters in the Book of Mormon) is speaking with his older brothers about a vision that their father Lehi had seen. Nephi's brothers were confused about the interpretation of the vision and mentioned their confusion to Nephi (who speaks in the first person in these verses).

7 And they said: Behold, we cannot understand the words which our father hath spoken concerning the natural branches of the olive tree, and also concerning the Gentiles.

8 And I said unto them: Have ye inquired of the Lord?

9 And they said unto me: We have not; for the Lord maketh no such thing known unto us.

*Inserting my commentary again... Before I go deep on my soapbox, I'll just preface my longwinded-ness to say that your personal spirituality/ relationship with God/ testimony of truth takes work. There's no getting around the work part if you truly want your own spiritual life. If you're ambivalent about making an effort, then you may continue to be dependent on others' insights for spiritual progression. That's the summary... here comes the depth.

Recently I finished a book about goal setting called Atomic Habits by James Clear. I bring up this book so often now in conversations because the principles of habits are genius, and apparently the concepts even come to mind when I read the scriptures. In the beginning of this book about establishing habits, the author talks about how you need to see yourself already as being what you want to become. For example, if you want to quit smoking, you need to start referring to yourself as a non-smoker because that mentality will give you motivation to not smoke.

A brief explanation, but applying that concept here, if you want to be a more independent spiritual thinker, then you need to refer to yourself as a scriptorian or spiritual person and start acting like that persona and building habits like a spiritual person would build. In the above verses, Nephi's older brothers did not see themselves as people who receive personal revelation or spiritual confirmations, and already that mentality is going to make it harder for them to be open and prepared to receive the personal spiritual insights that Heavenly Father wants to give them.

Here's the thing, I believe that all people living on this Earth are spirit children of God, and thus have the right to hear from Him, to receive direction and answers. That message may not come in a vision or an audible voice. It usually doesn't. Most of the time, I feel a spiritual confirmation of a truth I hadn't previously understood, and that comes after I ponder, study, pray, and discuss.

Nephi outlines this process for his brothers in a subsequent verse:

11 Do ye not remember the things which the Lord hath said?—If ye will not harden your hearts, and ask me in faith, believing that ye shall receive, with diligence in keeping my commandments, surely these things shall be made known unto you.

This is a topic that I could discuss for awhile, but I won't write too much more here because that would be boring.

Last words on this topic for now: See yourself as a spiritual being who can receive personal direction from God! Set yourself up for success by creating habits that encourage revelation (study, ponder, ask, pray, listen).

If you already see yourself as a spiritual person, the best thing you can do for someone who is trying to be more spiritual is to ask him/her questions and encourage studying it out for themselves. From personal experience I can say, that telling someone the answer that you received will either provide no relief or only temporary strength. The Holy Spirit teaches us on an individual curriculum that makes sense for what we are experiencing in life, and that person you're "helping" can only sustain their spirituality through the work it takes to listen to their own curriculum.

*Soapbox exit... unless you get me started again, an opportunity which I would be happy to oblige in person. 

Life Snapshot: December 17

Scott had a conference in Vegas before my birthday, so he bought us tickets to
see The Nutcracker, put on by the Nevada Ballet Theater.

Seattle Tidbits: Enchant Christmas is something that I would like to visit in future years. A maze of Christmas lights? With a Christmas market?! And an ice skating trail?! Yes, please.

This holiday season our weekends didn't allow for a Seattle trip, but I'm making this a priority for future holidays.

What I'm Reading: My audiobook du jour is The Good Neighbor by Maxwell King, read by LeVar Burton. If you haven't yet seen the new movie about Mr. Rogers with Tom Hanks, then I highly recommend it, especially if you watched Mr. Roger's Neighborhood as a child.

Then I'm reading The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow.

Part of My Spiritual Study: Scott and I watched the Christmas Devotional together this year, but I decided to go back and watch Patrick Kearon speak. The message was worth hearing again.

Church Calling: When we moved into this area I was called as the primary pianist, which is possibly the easiest calling asked of me. Just recently, though, Scott was called to serve as the Elder's Quorum President in our ward. He's on a slow roll moving into this calling, and we're beginning to understand what the time commitment might look like from here.

On the Telly: I may have spent an entire day binging the show Glow Up on Netflix. It's a reality TV competition based in London for make-up artists. Having very few make-up skills myself, it was fascinating to see how these artists could transform a person's look.

Favorite Eats: Oranges. That's a very boring answer, but right now we are buying boxes of oranges and going through them quickly because they are just so satisfying and sweet. Our favorite local restaurant right now might be El Balcon. It's Scott's favorite for sure, and I would never say no to a good taco.

Dr. Hubs: After all the many years of training, it is such a relief to hear Scott come home from work and gush about how much he loves his job. He enjoys the people he works with, working for Kaiser and the resources they provide him, and the patients that he sees. Lately he is either frequently asked if he's 12 years old or hit on by older female patients. Scott was invited to attend a special conference of experts earlier this Fall, and he taught at his fellowship's ultrasound course. So he's kind of a big deal, already. Not really! Mostly he now knows important people who are kind enough to include him in opportunities. 

My favorite moment from this last week: It was my birthday on Sunday, and we had celebrated the week before as we traveled for Scott to attend a sports medicine conference. But being on the plane must have exposed me to some virus, because I spent Sunday in bed at home with a head cold, trying to avoid getting anyone else sick. Sneezing and napping for my birthday was NOT my favorite moment of the week, but having new friends offer condolences and care was! Women from church, who had no assignment to help me, found out that I wasn't well on my birthday and were messaging and dropping things off to us. On my birthday I dislike to be the center of attention in a group, but this kind of individual thoughtfulness boosted my spirit.

On My Mind: While we were traveling, I went to a salon to be pampered for my birthday. The stylist was very young, but proficient. As she worked on my hair and created small talk, I realized that I was intentionally filtering my responses to match her attitude, and because of that, the stylist was making assumptions about my life. I should probably be clearer and say that I wasn't full-on Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride conformative, but I was responding in a people-pleasing way... and that upon reflection, I don't filter my responses with friends, but rather with strangers I just met. Anyone else find that you filter yourself with acquaintances in social situations?

I became quieter as I sat in her chair and realized the misunderstandings that occurred when I wasn't more bold to properly represent myself. I  pondered when filtering might be okay and when it might be better to be more blunt. My conclusion is that while I don't need to share 100% of myself (or even much less) with individuals who I don't know or who don't value my opinions and choices, the part I do share should be a true reflection. I'm not entirely sure how to make this a reality, especially when I feel naturally drawn to be agreeable, but I hope to become better at authentic sharing and correcting in the future.

1 Nephi 1:18

Today I watched the newly released first episode of the Book of Mormon video series. After previously watching one behind the scenes video on YouTube, it seems that both cast and crew put a great deal of thought into the creation of these episodes to accurately depict the lives of prophets and disciples in the Book of Mormon. Though I've read the Book of Mormon many times, watching this video helps to humanize scripture stories, put myself in the experiences and emotions this family may have felt while leaving Jerusalem following prophetic warnings from prophets like Jeremiah.

In the very first verses written in the Book of Mormon, Nephi gives some background about what was happening in Jerusalem and how his father, Lehi, prayed to know what his family needed to do. The answer to his prayer came as a confirmation of what the prophets were preaching to the people - that God would allow Jerusalem to be destroyed due to overwhelming wickedness in the city. This first chapter in the Book of Mormon doesn't go into much detail of what was so wicked in Jerusalem. However, I found it interesting that the video depiction features Lehi walking through a busy market in Jerusalem surrounded by instances of what looks like normalized human trafficking.

In 1 Nephi 1:18 it reads:

18 Therefore, I would that ye should know, that after the Lord had shown so many marvelous things unto my father, Lehi, yea, concerning the destruction of Jerusalem, behold he went forth among the people, and began to prophesy and to declare unto them concerning the things which he had both seen and heard.

Two things stood out as I watched this first episode. Firstly, I was impressed by Lehi's courage to stand in the middle of a busy metropolitan area and tell people about his faith and what he had learned by praying. When I put myself in his shoes, it would be easy to think, "Oh, there are others, more qualified that I am, who are already warning the people." It was an act of faith for Lehi to obey God's direction to share what he had learned with people, who, by easy estimate, wouldn't want to hear what he had to say. Secondly, it would take trust in Lehi's character to listen and adhere to what he said. Again, if I were to put myself in their shoes - standing in the middle of the mall (let's say) listening to someone standing on food court table preaching of destruction, I'm more likely to consider them as crazy then to listen. I would have to know and trust Lehi, or I would need to have a strong spiritual impression to go and pray about it myself, in order to even have a lingering thought about what was said. It made me wonder, besides Lehi's family, who in the community was best situated to trust and heed Lehi's warning.

Many PNW Adventures Ahead

I spy the Space Needle.

Doesn't get any better than this, folks! We moved to our new home at the beginning of August and instantly fell in love. The ocean! The mountains! Our cute rental home and how all of our stuff miraculously filled the space perfectly!

Have you ever had that feeling that fills you with a sense of home? I have that feeling every time I go back to Sitka, and I've had inklings of that feeling when I drive around our new home. It's the beginning of something special, I think.

We've spent the last month, while Scott was waiting for his first day of work, exploring the area. Here's a list of some of the adventures we've been on so far:

• Discovered some highly-rated area restaurants, including the #1 milkshake in WA
• Visited this nursery which initiated A LOT of yard work
• Took the ferry to Seattle and walked a half marathon worth of touristy paths
• Watched the Sound of Music at an outdoor theater in the hills of Leavenworth, WA
• Meandered downtown Poulsbo more than once (perhaps with the intent of eating MORAs)
• Stalked the deer that were coming into our yard
• Strolled through rows of lavender in the lavender capital of North America
• Took a Sunday walk to our neighborhood marina and watched the seals popping up around a giant pink flamingo floaty
• Played local and grabbed 100 pamphlets at the county fair, complete with all the 4H barns
• Taste tested at the Seattle Chocolate factory store
• Found a peanut butter factory nearby
• Stood in awe at the views along Hood Canal

It feels like we haven't even skimmed the surface of adventure possibilities, especially since we've mostly stuck to our new neck of the woods so far. Currently on our PNW list is: Olympic National Park, water sports in Puget Sound, Victoria and Butchart Gardens, not to mention a Mariner's game. PNW adventure options are limitless and that's exciting!

5 Reasons to Meet with a Financial Advisor Before Residency

We are approaching the end of fellowship year, have a signed contract for the first real physician job starting in August, and have only just now met with a financial advisor to talk about what to expect next. If I could go back in time and do this journey all over again, I wouldn't change too much (especially because not a lot of decisions were in our control, Ha!) but I would have met with Justin Berry before we left medical school so that Scott and I could approach these post-school years with a little bit more financial education.

We specifically wanted to meet with a financial advisor who was familiar with physician financial situations - the debt load, training schedule, first job benefits, and physician-specific financial options. I can't recommend Justin more highly for those in the Pacific Northwest, especially within the Portland, Oregon area. We arranged for some educational visits with Justin, at no cost to us, to learn about: loan repayment recommendations tailored to us, the difference between consolidation and refinancing, what types of private insurance outside employment benefits might be advisable, recommendations as we start to move into the adulting world (regular salaries and budgeting, renting vs. buying, first time home buyer tips, prioritizing savings, understanding hospital benefits, etc.), and how to approach future investments.

In an effort to save future doctors (more likely their significant others) the headaches that Scott and I have gone through, here are five reasons you should meet with a financial advisor (preferably one who specializes in physician finances) before you leave medical school and begin training:

1. Either the doctor or the spouse needs financial education.
There should be a mandatory adulting class in high school or college. It is inevitable that between you and your significant other, one is in charge of the finances and the other has no clue what the difference is between checking and savings (not pointing any fingers). According to our financial advisor, among his clients it's the physician who most often doesn't deal with the finances.

Set your marriage and residency up right by getting on the same page finance-wise and meet with a financial advisor who can help you talk through budgeting for your new income levels. Don't make the mistake of overspending because you're finally done with school. It's a long journey to financial independence, you'll get there, but you don't want to make it longer. Be frugal while you're used to being frugal.

2. Medical school loan interest capitalizes when you begin repayment. 
Ugh! Since neither of us had undergrad student loans, capitalization came as an unexpected shock. Throughout school we made modest efforts to keep our total loans at a low amount (namely: only taking loans to cover tuition, I worked full- time to cover living expenses, and an occasional loan payment when extra funds were available). That total practically doubled overnight after residency began and we made plans for repayment, when the accrued interest during medical school became principal (a.k.a capitalization... Google it!). If we had met with a financial advisor during 4th year, s/he could have helped us understand capitalization and our options for deferring or paying off loans, which likely could have saved us some money.

3. An amount of student loan interest is tax deductible.
Again, a helpful financial tidbit that I found out through experience after the fact, when we did our first tax return after graduation. Depending on current tax laws, a portion of your paid student loan interest might be deductible, which in essence is like getting that money right back in the form of a tax refund. When we graduated from medical school, $2500 in student loan interest payment could be counted as a deductible on your tax return. In December of that year we had only just decided on our loan repayment options and paid a very minimal amount back thinking we would save money. Had I known that I could have paid off $2500 in interest, before it capitalized (!), and seen a $2500 increase in our tax refund, I absolutely would have cashed in on that. I've tried to remember to share this fact every December to medical school significant others from our school since that mistake.

4. Repayment options are complicated, as are the reasons you might choose them. 
When my husband started his residency and the repayment decision needed to be made, I had no clue why I would choose one option over the other, except to choose based on what we could afford. There are standard repayment options and income-driven repayment options. A financial advisor can walk through why you might choose an income-driven option or when that wouldn't be a good idea. When we met with our financial advisor this Spring he said, "If you weren't taking the job that you were now, that repayment choice would have been a costly decision. Lucky for you, it's a moot point now." *insert big eyes emoji

5. Federal loan interest rates are high!
You would think that of all institutions, the government might be interested in offering market low rates to students. Nope! We elected during residency to make fixed payments to the federal loan servicer, with an average interest rate on our loans of 6.5%. After meeting with our financial advisor this Spring, he recommended a couple of private loan companies where we could refinance for closer to 3%. So I'll swallow the fact that I paid off our loans for four years at the higher interest rate and just tell you, it's absolutely worth your time to talk to an advisor about this.

We ended up refinancing all of our student loans through Earnest and have an aggressive goal to pay them off in 5 years. It means we need to be frugal for a little bit longer, but we think it will be worth it when we can start taking what would have been loan payments and start investing in our future.

Shameless plug: a lot of refinancing or loan consolidation companies offer referral bonuses, and Earnest is no exception. So we're including our referral link here. I'm not saying you have to go through Earnest. Do the research, talk with a financial advisor you trust, and see what's the best option for you. No matter what company you choose, there will probably be an acquaintance who has a referral link you can use.

If you choose to refinance, and Earnest looks like the best option for you, THEN feel free to use our referral link for $200 in savings on your loans.

https://www.earnest.com/invite/scott3034
Hey Physicians and SOs - Any other tips you would add?

The Perfect Place for a Dozen Candy Stores

Last week we went to visit Scott's family in Sacramento. When we were making plans to drive down to visit everyone, we told them not to plan anything to entertain us. We mostly wanted to spend time with family and have a week to relax, and for the most part, they listened and we spent the week playing card games and Jackbox.

Halfway through our week of visiting, though, my sister-in-law called to say that one of our nephews would be coming up from Toulare for his school's field trip to the capital. She asked if we might be interested in joining the day of tours. Since I have never been to Old Sac' before, I decided it would be fun to tag along.

The day started for us at the California State Railroad Museum, and it was clear that many school trips begin exactly the same way. There were clear routes for buses to park, and all the shops in Old Sacramento were prepared for children with extra spending money. The morning was planned out that the school children would learn about the transcontinental railroad and then walk around the boardwalk lining saloon looking shops until noon. My nephew had $20 that I'm sure his mother gave him to cover food expenses, but that lucky boy had his grandmother there to pay for anything he might fancy. There were at least six shops with candy in western style barrels, and it felt like we bought those boys sweets at every one. We passed by shops with chocolate confections, mini donuts, California souvenirs, toys, and novelty socks. By the time we escorted the boys back to the bus, they were riding their sugar high, and that Jackson was burning a hole in my nephew's pocket. The time was running short for him to spend his play money on something, anything, and he felt each sand of the hourglass!

A view inside the capitol dome

Grandma and I followed the bus to the capitol building, only a few blocks away. While the kids ate their brown bag lunches, we learned that the school hadn't scheduled a guided tour at the Capitol. So each group of children and chaperones needed to wonder the building and seek out educational opportunities on their own. Perhaps if we had known in advance, we would have come prepared to teach the boys some facts. Instead, we learned that the lower level of the capitol building has a closet-sized souvenir shop where I would wager that 75% of the school class purchased a tchotchke, including my nephew who bought playing cards that were printed to look like a million dollar bill, along with a souvenir penny from one of those crank molds. Before we left, we also discovered that the lower level has a gourmet cafe, that offers delicious pizza (among other menu items) for politicians and staff who work in the building... or for the school children and their chaperones on self-guided tours.

Ether 12:27

I have gotten into an awful habit of unintentionally complaining. When I was mindful enough to notice, I might catch myself complaining about other people not meeting my expectations. It is also not uncommon for me to complain about not being able to get on top of my health or whatever new trail I am facing - how I'm trying to be proactive and make good choices but instead feel like I've taken two steps back. Not difficult to complain about that frustration! This habit is so bad that I can be found complaining about what I anticipate may happen even before I give people a chance to do something different.

My bad habits started to come to light in several ways. As I was reading a couple books (The Happiness Project and The Power of The Other) I observed that while teaching concepts of improving happiness and leadership, these authors also focused on an opposite perspective of pessimism and listed some negative characteristics that I had just become aware of having. I began to wonder if my negative tendencies were disrupting my happiness, and maybe even more importantly, the happiness of those around me. Then one day, my husband was acting funny - apologizing for things he didn't need to apologize for and acting like he was putting me out, so to speak. These little seeds of doubt were annoying, honestly, and I called him out on it. Then later when I sat to think about this strange behavior of his, I connected some dots and realized that he was probably trying to compensate for my timely pessimism.

A couple weeks ago, as Scott and I studied the Come Follow Me lesson for that week, the lesson suggested we could read a talk to ponder more about Mary and Martha. It was in reading this talk that I could finally put a name to this weakness, a spiritual muscle of mine that had atrophied - charity.

It seriously seems like all signs have been pointing with a neon outline to my weakness lately. All these promptings reminded me of a scripture in the Book of Mormon. In the book of Ether, Moroni receives some instruction from the Lord that teaches that character weakness is an essential part of life, and could even be considered a gift from God, to help us choose humility and look to Him. These innate, or potentially acquired, weaknesses also give us opportunities to become better, more Christlike (a.k.a repentance), to demonstrate faith, and grow in spiritual maturity.

27 And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

The best comparison I've heard with this scripture came from a local mental health professional a few months ago in church. He quoted this scripture and said these weaknesses we have are like big boulders in our lives, and all that Heavenly Father asks of us is to push on it a little every day. The boulder may move an inch or a mile over our lifetimes, or potentially not move at all. But if we consistently push every day (maybe some days just lay next to the boulders when we are too weak to push), over time we will become physically or mentally stronger because of the exercise.

Over the next few months I'm going to workout my charity muscle and make charity the focus of my personal study. Maybe I'll even keep a journal of my experiments implementing what I learn, so I can recognize patterns and attempt to turn around these bad habits and be kinder to family, friends, strangers, and even myself.

Western Caribbean Friends Cruise

In February of this year we went on a Western Caribbean cruise with a couple who we were friends with during our years in Milwaukee, WI. Even though I had stopped working at the beginning of February, we had budgeted and saved so that we could celebrate our hard work in residency and my job, my 35th birthday, and our 10 year anniversary which we celebrated last year. So many reasons to treat ourselves to a warm vacation!

We had so much fun! Though I was skeptical of the cruiseline, the Carnival Vista was perfect for our seven day trip. We left out of Galveston and visited Jamaica, Grand Cayman and Cozumel. The waters in the Cayman islands were unbelievable! And we could have spent several more days exploring Cozumel. The best excursion we did was the Amazing Cozumel Race! Our group thrived on the competition an we were able to visit areas of downtown Cozumel that we probably wouldn't have seen if we had just walked around as tourists. It was so fun to interact with the locals a little bit more as well.


If I had to do it all over again, I would go to the gym and hit the stairs before our cruise to prep my calves for the cruise stairs (elevators are unpredictable) and avoid going into Jamaica where we were either hounded by sellers or offered marijuana every few feet.

Alma 58:11

We have a Sunday Jar filled with ideas on different ways that we can spend time together after church. The activities vary from playing a board game together, taking a walk or exploring a new area of town, learning something new, indexing family history information, or even memorizing a scripture. When Scott was a missionary for our church, he chose to memorize a lot of different scriptures that would help him relate the scriptures to personal experiences of those he was teaching. Since we have been married, we haven't memorized many scriptures together. One Sunday earlier this year, we decided that we had some extra time to ourselves on a Sunday afternoon and we would choose one of our Sunday Jar activities - which of course was to memorize a scripture, since I'm bringing it up now.

Scott and I discussed whether there were any scriptures that we wanted to memorize together that we hadn't memorized already. Scott couldn't think of any off-hand, so I turned to my Gospel Library app for scriptures that I had tagged to come back to later and ponder more. One of those scriptures was in the book of Alma within the Book of Mormon.

11 Yea, and it came to pass that the Lord our God did visit us with assurances that he would deliver us; yea, insomuch that he did speak peace to our souls, and did grant unto us great faith, and did cause us that we should hope for our deliverance in him.

Background to this scripture - Alma and his people are in the middle of a war, and while Alma is a prophet, he had volunteered to serve in the military, commanding an army of young men. Conditions for that little army weren't great - they were hungry and needed more provisions. These young men weren't experienced fighters and needed more men to strengthen their ranks. There was a lot of pressure to maintain their homeland villages that they had been able to capture back from the enemy. Because of these pressures, the young men became fearful, as I imagine was their leader who wasn't a trained military man. But he and his little army were men of faith, and they turned to God in prayer for assistance.

As I was studying the scriptures, this verse had stood out to me as a message of hope and potentially a pattern of how our Heavenly Father answers prayers in the midst of turbulent times - not necessarily immediate relief, but with feelings of peace, a boost in faith, and hope for a solution.

The timing could not have been better to work on learning and memorizing this scripture as we debated two potential job offers. The answer to this employment dilemma wasn't initially clear, and this verse reminded us to be prayerful and look for God's assurances to guide us.

A New Washington Chapter

Last week Scott signed a contract for his first full time job following medical training!

What a monumental event for us, because we've been building up to this new chapter for so many years - pre-med training, applying to medical school, medical school rotations, interviewing then SOAPing into residency, residency, interviewing then matching into fellowship. Now mid-fellowship year, Scott was offered two different jobs in two different parts of Washington state!

We had long talks about what was most important to us in this first job. We considered location, medical practice preferences, large organizations v. private practices, pay and benefits, potential life balance, opinions of current and former employees. We found that its difficult to look at this decision by logic alone and that everyone seemed to have opinions on what we should do. In the end, the decision came down to prayer and what felt best. Both offers were good, but after evaluating how we feel, one organization stood out to us as the better choice for us now.

So in August, after Scott's fellowship graduation, we will be moving to Kitsap County in the Seattle area for this next chapter in our life, and we're extremely excited! There are A LOT of loans to pay off before we will probably feel like we've moved on to a new chapter, but the thought of settling down in an area for awhile just feels so invigorating.

Luke 11:5-9

This last weekend we listened to General Conference on our TV on Saturday and Sunday. (For those who aren't familiar with what General Conference is in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, here is a link where you can learn more about it.) As I was listening to Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk, I realized that even though my idea for a scripture sharing social site has been held-up, the basic idea didn't have to wait. I could try to recreate the most important element using this blog space. So from time to time, I plan to post some of my thoughts as I study the scriptures and try to apply them to my life. Then I am creating a new page in the header of my blog that I can share with others showing a compilation of how I try to study the scriptures and what they mean to me.

...

In Luke, after he gives an account of the Savior teaching the Lord's prayer, Luke also includes an interesting parable that amounts to verses 5-9 in Chapter 11. I don't remember ever having read this parable before, but it struck me as odd when I was studying this chapter recently.

The story is of a man who asks a friend to provide the ingredients needed for breakfast, as an unexpected visitor has arrived that night. Okay, sounds like prayer. As I was casually reading through these verses, the part that caught me off guard and caused me to read through the entire parable more closely was this verse:

8 I say unto you, Though he will not rise and give him, because he is his friend, yet because of his importunity he will rise and give him as many as he needeth.

At first I was thinking, "Wait! That doesn't sound like my understanding of the character of God. Doesn't He consider us to be friends when we come to Him in prayer?"

But then I went back and read all the details. This man knocked on "his friend's" door, AT MIDNIGHT, while the rest of the house was clearly asleep, because this man WASN'T PREPARED. Seriously?! I would be questioning the friendship too, in that case.

Sure, I have a couple friends who despite how often we talk or how much time we spend together, if they called me in the middle of the night to ask for an emergency favor, I would run to their aid because of my love for them... not to mention that I know they would only ever call me in the middle of the night if it was an emergency. However, if I had a friend like the man in this parable, who took advantage of our friendship and crossed some boundaries, I too would only consider helping if he was too darn persistent that my best option was to give in just to get him to stop.

This parable made me reevaluate how I am using prayer. Am I working to study out and solve my own problems before going to the Lord? Or even better, am I prepared enough to go to the Lord for advice well in advance of my problem due dates? Am I the kind of friend with God that we have an established relationship of love and mutual respect based on many previous conversations and reciprocating help? Or am I frequently bumming off His good graces?

Note to self: Try being a better friend with Heavenly Father.

I love how reading the scriptures and listening to General Conference cause me to ponder on my areas of weakness and commit to improve.

Lady of Leisure

The best colleagues send flowers to congratulate you
on your unemployment.

Have you ever imagined how it might feel to live like the Bennet sisters - spending your days refining your character and waiting for the sound of a new arrival at your doorstep? I'm about to experience that, as Friday was my last day of work for awhile!

For the record, I initiated the change and have been anticipating this day for awhile. Scott has been entirely supportive of the idea, though I'm not quite sure why he gets so giddy at the idea of me not being employed. He keeps asking me if I think I will never work again, and my answer has been 100% I will work again.... just not quite yet. I have nothing lined up, except to find life balance again. So then I started imagining what my life might be like as a "lady of leisure".

The idea of ending employment without anything lined up afterwards was too much for my brain. I knew that if I spent my days lounging on the couch reading or watching cheesy romances (though that IS EXACTLY how I like to spend my holidays), I would feel unproductive and guilty for all the things I could accomplish and have been neglecting. Knowing this about myself, weeks ago I began writing a list of all the pieces of my life that I set aside because my job had been all consuming: going to the gym, finishing books I've started, working on creative projects, making healthy dinners, organizing my finances, among other things. Then a month ago I was trained for a volunteer opportunity in our neck of the woods that is flexible to when I'm available. Perfect, right?

Basically, it's like I'm trading in my old job to manage my life, like that Mother's Day ad where they interviewed for Director of Operations. I'm aiming for that (minus the whole mothering bit), and dreaming of the day when my to-do list is empty and I'm drumming my fingers in anticipation of my next project. If you have any suggestions to add to my lady of leisure agenda, send them on over.

Joy To The World

The end of the year and Christmas have been a time of personal reflection for me. There are usually events (like my upcoming birthday, Christmas, or New Year's resolutions) where I consider how my year went - with life in general, changes that year and how I handled them, and gauging any growth in faith throughout the year.

This has been an interesting year. Scott and I have had fantastic travels and milestone successes. An overwhelming workload in my world has left me feeling like my IQ dropped significantly (and I'm hoping temporarily) under stress and left me questioning career options. This year also led us to possibly the first place that both Scott & I have felt at home, and we're now trying to find ways to make that feeling potentially more permanent. Needless to say, lately I have felt like I could use a little more joy and peace in my life, which I guess is good timing for the Christmas season and this message from Elder Bednar.

My heart hurt this weekend when I heard of a sad event that occurred last week on BYU's campus, and hearing Elder Bednar address this specifically in his devotional was calming. His reminder that service and joy are intertwined was also a helpful reminder.



I hope that you also find joy during this Christmas season and into the new year.

Merry Christmas!

No Other Way

Last year, around this time, I had a series of appointments with a gastroenterologist. Though I had few Crohn's symptoms, I knew that underlying inflammation was potentially my only other explanation for recurrent miscarriages since all other tests had come back normal. During one visit my GI told me something I didn't want to hear - that because my disease manifests with stricturing, it is classified as moderate to severe. To say that I was not happy to receive this categorization is an understatement. I've never had other severe Crohn's symptoms, but as a "severe" Crohnie I was left with only one standard treatment option (an option that isn't without it's risks).

Around the same time that I received this news from the GI,  I attended a stake conference at church and heard from a stake presidency member who was moving and being released from his calling. As he spoke to the congregation, he relayed the story of his family's decision to move. Among the choices they had, there wasn't an obvious right answer. So they went to the temple. After attending the temple and hearing the words of the ordinances there, they felt like there was no other way for them to get through this trial except to make a difficult choice. As he described the peace that eventually came after the decision was made, I felt an impression that there was no other way for me either. 

{insert wailing emoji}

It wasn't a peaceful revelation, like I'm used to feeling. I cried, and subsequent prayers didn't lead to a reassuring confirmation that I should start this new treatment.

Upset at being cornered without options and feeling like I hadn't been heard, I stopped seeing that GI in Wisconsin (not the most mature move on my part) and begged my primary care to help me find other treatments. While my PC helped me find other options that lessened my already low symptoms, I continued to experience infertility and lab results reveled that inflammation was still present in my gut.

Beacon Rock and our emotions at the summit

Which brings me to today. Today I start that new risky treatment. 

New home. New doc who I trust... but who gave me the same categorization and singular treatment option as before. 

Of course, my memory of the stake conference impression emerged. I'm devastated by my lack of options, the presence of risk and the potential for a lifetime of infusions or injections.
But...
 surprisingly I feel like I'm at a place now where I'm able to move forward with this plan. I can't say now whether this is the only way for me to overcome inflammation and potentially stay pregnant, or if I need to step through this option in order to find others; but I'm trying to trust that God hears my concerns and is going to lead me to the next, better step, whatever that may be.

Life Snapshot: October 24

Topgolf selfie, Scott's Birthday Weekend Celebration

To anyone who noticed, I had to postpone my last post. Long story.

Vancouver Tidbits: Recently we discovered Dine the Couve and have loved every restaurant that we've visited. Even though the special menus are only available in the month of October, I'm crossing my fingers that the list stays up all year so I can test out a few more. If you're looking for a restaurant to eat at in Vancouver, Washington we can already highly recommend Nom Nom, Smokehouse Provisions, Rally Pizza, and Heathen's Taco Tuesday.

What I'm Reading:  Besides re-reading the Book of Mormon by the end of the year, I'm also trying to finish out my Goodreads 2018 reading challenge. One book I read recently that I can highly recommend is Ban This Book by Alan Gratz.

On the Telly: Sports most of the time. #helloFellowship
However, my good friend introduced me to We Love You, Sally Carmichael. I love that Jack McBrayer made appearances, and I laughed out loud at the merman!

Dr. Hubs: Can you believe that it's already Fellowship interview season? The PeaceHealth Primary Care Sports Medicine program here does two interview days with groups of applicants. It doesn't seem real that it was a year ago Scott was flying everywhere for interviews, and we were trying to figure out which program features were most important to us. With three months of fellowship under his belt, Scott is really enjoying this program and already has his favorite ways to describe it to applicants.

Goal for Next Week: Show my lean model canvas to business minded friends for feedback.
Want to analyze my business idea?

My favorite moment from this last week: It was Scott's birthday on Monday and because he is busy during the week, we decided to celebrate on Saturday. Except I made his day a little bit more complicated by making him help me get a new mattress (second mattress of our marriage). Good thing it's easy to bring Scott happiness - find sports, eat his favorite foods, and involve family. I had this blissful moment, sitting on an outdoor couch having just eaten an amazing meal, under a heater on a 50 degree crisp fall night, watching Scott laugh as he hit golf balls too far from the target.

On My Mind: Distractions. As part of General Conference, the prophet asked the women of the church to be part of a social media fast and to prayerfully include any other sources of media that have a negative influence on us. Having participated in the social media fast this summer with the youth of the church, I was excited for the challenge again and knew that despite good intentions, I had already fallen back into bad habits. Technology occupies my mind as soon as I wake up in the morning and frequently throughout the day. Emails, messages, notifications, searches - if I let my mind linger on them, I could easily be distracted or preoccupied with worry all day. I want to be more purposeful in my interactions, and I'd like to train my mind to focus better. That's going to involve making some changes. Perhaps leaving my phone in the living room at night, and only accessing social media when I have something to say. Or maybe I just need to rediscover HeadSpace. 

Lingering Prineville Questions

Scott's extended family plans a yearly reunion at Prineville Reservoir and occasionally we have the opportunity to join in the fun. It just so happened that this year we were able to go along for most of the reunion because we had just moved to Vancouver, WA at the beginning of July and Scott didn't have to start his fellowship program until the week following Prineville. So I took off a day and a half from work that week, and spent the remaining days working part time from our hotel. Working remotely definitely pays off! Too bad I haven't had a real vacation in two years, though, because I plan so many vacations where I'm working part time. I digress.

Each day at Prineville families go boating, breakfast and dinner are shared meals together, and then in the evening all 50 some aunts, cousins, nieces/nephews get together at night for a little devotional or fun family activity. 

Well one of the nights the devotional was a "Get to Know the In-Laws" night, where they asked several of us who married into this clan some quick response questions. Except, I'm not the best at quick responses, so I'm afraid there were quite a few questions that I looked around for someone else to have fast insight into my life. If only I had the quick wit of my fellow in-law Erik Bermudez who can improv hilarious half-truth answers on the spot. Also unfortunate that I sat directly next to Erik and had to follow that hilarity every time. Typical Katie fashion is to take time to process, and with that in mind I now (two months later) have a few good answers. Ha!

Q: Of anyone in the world (past or present), who would you want to sit down to lunch with or interview?

A: Jacinda Ardern
Honestly, this answer changes on the daily. There are lots of interesting people in the world today, and most definitely in the past, whose brains I could pick for an hour or two. I'm drawn to learn more from powerful women (hence Ms. Ardern... I answered another powerful woman at Prineville, though it was an answer I once gave when asked something similar in college #ineedprocesstime), but who doesn't want to talk to their ancestors or the infamous?

Q: What's one thing on your bucket list?

A: India
This was actually the same answer I said in Prineville. Thailand is also on that list, as is the Hill Cumorah Pagaent and u-pick peaches in Georgia.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up? *Note: all of the in-laws were "grown-ups".

A: Operations Manager at a Children's Museum
Children's museums are magical. When I was a child, I would say that I wanted to be a Kindergarden teacher when I grew up, because all I remembered was playing. Now that I'm older, I realized what I really wanted then if only I had known it was possible, is to manage a non-profit children's museum.

Q: What is a quirk of yours?
A: I need time to process the words you're saying and my feelings. Give me a moment, and I'll come up with something great. A career in improv is not in my future.

How would you answer any of these questions for yourself?

Dreamy Feels

We've started settling into our new home, and my favorite word lately has been "dreamy".

This weather in the Pacific Northwest is DREAMY! It might just be this Alaskan's opinion, but partly cloudy, mid 60s temps with a breeze or a drizzle is swoonable weather.

My husband's tan is DREAMY! Me? I'll never get more than a glow, but his color is that of cover models.

Walking into your backyard and picking blackberries is DREAMY. Boysenberries would be even better, but I'm not complaining when you throw any fresh berries on a bowl of ice cream, and this area has berries in abundance in the summer.

Having access to a decked out apartment gym and pool/hot tub combo, DREAMY.  Taking a half hour work break between calls for a workout or reading by the pool in the evening sun... perfection.

Speaking of which, catching up on my Goodreads 2018 Book Challenge, DREAMY. I've read so many good books this summer, laying on the couch with the window open and a warm breeze flowing through our home. *Big sigh*

The close of summer is DREAMY, and sad, and delightful. I love the laziness and flexibility that summer feels like, but fall has its perks too. Close of a good season, beginning of another.

DrH's fellowship work schedule? Dreamy. While I'm feeling all the dreamy feels, we're spending a good chunk of time actually day dreaming what our future life might look like if this is a preview.

Airing Out in Southern Oregon

A couple weeks ago I went to visit my parents in Medford, Oregon. Both Scott's and my parents are so excited for us to be back on the West Coast. When Scott and I finally settled into our new place for this fellowship year, my parents made sure to schedule a trip for me to come visit, and it was all planned around the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. When my dad told me about this upcoming season of shows, there were a few plays that I mentioned an interest in, but with timing in mind, I decided on a weekday evening show of Sense and Sensibility. You may be thinking, "Um, that's Jane Austen, not Shakespeare." You'd be right, but that's OSF variety for you.

Little did I know that West Coast fires would end up interfering with our plans.

I flew on Alaska Airlines/Horizon to Medford instead of driving. The air quality at the Portland airport was a little hazy from the fires in British Columbia, but it was nothing compared to the tarmac in Medford. I couldn't even see the ground until we were landing on it. That picture above may look like a typical overcast day in Oregon, but that's straight up smoke from California and Oregon fires. YUCK!

That same hazardous air quality continued through to the next day, and I was worried about the scheduled Sense and Sensibility performance. I knew that there is a beautiful outdoor amphitheater as part of the Shakespeare Festival, and my dad said that most of the amphitheater performances had been canceled since the fires started, but he reassured me that our play was indoors.

When we arrived at the theater, many of the patrons were walking in with their face masks on and the theater smelled a bit like camp fire. Ushers taking tickets encouraged us to come inside quickly, limiting how much smoke would come inside. My dad and I sat down in incredible seats to watch Elinor and Marianne lose their father, move to a smaller home, and meet Willoughby. OSF spiced up this Austen story by having backstage cast members throwing out commentary from the side when they weren't part of the evolving plot.

At intermission, I got up to use the bathroom, and when I returned, the Managing Director of OSF was standing center stage telling the crowd that the smoke had gotten too thick back stage. He cancelled the remainder of the performance out of concern for actors, and patrons... but mostly the cast. We were disappointed, but I consoled myself, and my dad, by saying that I know exactly what happens to the Dashwoods.

The smoke didn't let up much at all during my week trip. In fact, my parents remained semi-housebound until just a couple days ago. I'm sure I'll get another opportunity soon to see Medford without the hazardous air and face masks.