04 June 2012

Yr 1 Perspective of a Med School Wife: Stacy

Q: Give us a little background of your family, your education/work, and where you came from before coming to Lebanon.

A: I am from Colorado Springs, Colorado. I met Kody when I was 17 years old and had graduated early from high school. We both went to a Country Music Bar with our siblings twice a week to dance, he continued to ask me out and finally I agreed. I went to University of Colorado at Colorado Springs for three years for a Math/Teaching Degree and then realized it was not for me and then shortly after that decided to go to school to become a Veterinary Technician. Kody also went to University of Colorado at Colorado Springs and got two bachelors degrees there. Then he got accepted at Western U and I wasn't finished with Tech school. So I stayed behind to finish school while Kody moved out here to Oregon. I have just finished up my tech school and am graduating next week and officially moved here in March! Finally to be back together after 9 months!

Q: What are your responsibilities while your husband is at school?

A: Well, for a while it was: miss him a lo, do my school work, take care of my dogs, and help with my brother's children. Up until today my responsibilities included caring for the animals in the morning and evenings, try to keep up on dishes/keep the house clean and complete my internship hours Monday-Friday for 8 hours a day. Kody and I fit in cuddle time at night between our stressing and studying.

Q: What resources did you find in the community that are supportive to you and your family?

A: Unfortunately, I haven't been around for a while. I have found a some support within the complements club. Kody and I have been looking for a church to join. My main support has really been Kody during my time here.

Q: What did you find was the best way to support your husband while he was studying this first year?

A: Let him know that although I am stressed about things that he doesn't need to take care of me. Sometimes Kody needs a push to study when he wants to just be with me. But we sort of have a system. I go to bed early and he stays up an extra hour to get in some quality studying without wanting to cater to me.

Q:Did school become stressful on your relationship at any time? How did it effect the relationships he has with other family members and friends?

A: For us it wasn't school being stressful but getting reacquainted with each other. Kody made a lot of big changes in his lifestyle when he moved here to get healthier- it has been a big change for me and I have had a rough time adjusting.

School I think has negatively impacted his family relationships. They just don't seem to understand how much this consumes of his life and they aren't as willing to work around it.

Q: What solutions have you found for dealing with the stress or burn out for either you or your SO?

A: We try to stay connected with each other. That has been the biggest help. We both just need to remind each other that we are in this together no matter what. We make sure to help each other. Sometimes I help him study and sometimes he helps me with house work when I get overwhelmed.

Q: Do you feel connected with other signicant others of students, and have you found good friends?

A: I feel connected with a few of the other med school wives. I am not one to open up readily and that impacts my relationships. I have made several friends in my internship as well. But I suppose it depends on what areas you are involved with as to who you might meet to be apart of your support system.

Q: Any advice you would give to new medical student wives?

A: No matter if you are moving with your husband or you have to be apart for a bit- stay connected and find what works for the two of you as a couple. We can tell how things worked for us, but every couple is different.